Friday, October 28, 2011

Scary Movie Lessons

 Things I have learned from Scary Movies

1. When there is a killer in your house always run upstairs. I'm not sure what is up there that is going to protect me, but the person who runs upstairs always seems to survive in the end. I don't know what I'm going to do seeing as we live in a one level house.... Maybe a ladder to the roof?

2. If you see a creepy hotel that seems vacant it is probably because there is a killer inside. I suggest sleeping in your car.

3. A movie with the title The Peanut Butter Solution will scar your children for life. I can't remember what this movie was about, but there is a little boy who loses his hair because he goes into a scary abandoned house and he decides to use the Peanut Butter Solution to grow it back. I'm not even sure if that's an accurate description of the movie, but in my little kid mind that's how it went down.

4. Sometimes clowns come through your drain in the bathtub. Another reason to leave those clogs.

5. Sparkly Vampires are not scary, but if you see Blade coming you might want to check behind you.

6. If a little kid creeps you out it is because he is possessed. I probably wouldn't accept babysitting offers from their parents.

7. If you wake up chained in a bathroom things probably aren't going to end well for you. Not to mention how unsanitary that is... Lysol anyone?

8. If you go out into the woods to hunt down a witch your nose is going to run really, really bad so take plenty of Kleenex.

9. Using a Ouija board brings about evil. I don't recommend it unless you have a priest next door.

10.If your TV set turns on automatically and there is white static you should just unplug it because a freaky wet girl will come through and ruin your Persian rug.

Thursday, October 27, 2011


Slaten has one more soccer game left. We have had such a blast watching his little team kick some serious preschool booty all over the soccer field this year. His team only has 4 players. Two boys and two girls. The last game he played went a little something like this:

 We have one little powerhouse named "T" who is 5 years old. She is the go to girl. All of the children know this so of course they try to get her the ball every time. T runs that ball straight for the goal every single time she gets her feet on it. All of us parents were just floored at how awesome she was doing during this game. She ended up scoring 10 goals. As a matter of fact all 4 of the kids scored a goal that night. The other boy "A" scored 2 or 3. The other little girl "L" scored her first goal of the season as did our very own Slaten.

 It was an intense moment in the game. All of the little tykes were down the field fighting for possession of the ball. Feet were kicking all over the place. One little body fell down, some others tripped over her and tumbled down too. Everyone scrambled to get back up. It was on! They ran up the field, down the field, to the side, "oh look a bird", focus came back to the game, they ran some more. Finally they all ended up at the end of the field near the goal. One of our team players had the ball. They started up the field. Feet were kicking, kicking, and Slaten blasted through the pack with the ball. He dribbled it as fast as he could straight to the goal. He kicked. IT'S GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!

  Everyone clapped and cheered! Including the other team! They were just as excited because........ Slaten has just scored a goal for their team....... He was so ecstatic. He got high fives from both teams and the smile on his face was enough for me to be elated that my little boy, the soccer star, had scored his first goal in a game. So watch out David Beckham there's a new kid in town. Granted he might just score for your team, but boy is he good.

Hey check out the Follower Fest going on over here. It's pretty much amazing.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Rub a Dub Dub, Momma in the tub.

  I very much look forward to the day when I am able to take a shower in peace.
A day when I don't feel like I have to look over my shoulder.
A day when I'm not afraid to close my eyes.
When I don't fear that the shower curtain will open and
  I will see a peeping tom looking in at me. 
When I don't have little hands reaching in and pinching my legs, 
when I can shave and not have to dodge flying hot wheels.
A day when someone doesn't flush the toilet and send me scurrying into the corner to avoid the hot, scalding water. 
A day when I don't say the phrases, "Please get your mouth off of the toilet", or "Get my toothbrush out of your ear!"
A day when little hands don't sneak in when I'm not looking and turn the cold water on full blast. 
A day when I can close my eyes to wash my face instead of opening them suddenly to make sure I'm alone and getting soapy, burning face wash in my eyes.
A day when I don't hear breaking glass and smell strong flowery perfume.
A day when I don't have to fear that chemicals are being ingested or poured out all over the floor.
A day when all of the towels remain in the cabinet for once.
When I can step out of the shower without having an audience. 

Oh to have a relaxing shower alone. I long for those days.
Until then I guess I will have to get use to being on display and
eventually you get use to the burning, soapy eyes.... I just need to keep practicing.