Thursday, May 26, 2011

Random Thursday {8}


1. I am in love with Mr. Bun Bun (No that's not the mail man). He is such a sweet little bunny and he's now comfortable enough to let me do things to him that a skittish bunny would never tolerate.

Here's just a couple of our photo shoots.

Aren't you jealous of my bunny?

2. I don't like crowds or teenagers. So I really don't like crowds of teenagers.. which is what we encountered at Taco Bell today. They make me feel very on edge. Beads of sweat pop up on my forehead, hands begin to fidget, eyes begin to twitch. I think it's because they remind me of just how dumb I was when I was a teenager. I thought I was hot stuff, but really I was just as loud and annoying as they all were. Man, I wish I was still a teenager.....

3. Yesterday on our adventure walk Cullen learned a new word. He says "fower" aka flower. He would pick one and throw it over his shoulder while saying "fower, fower". I tired so many times to get him to say it to someone else other than me so that they would believe that he really said it.. He wouldn't. Then this morning on our adventure walk as he picked flowers I'd say "Flower, flower. Say flower Cullen." He replied with "Nuh-uh". Sigh.

4. I need balloons for a craft I'm doing. All I have are water balloons. I tried to fill one up to see if it would work. When I took it off of the faucet I squirted myself in the face. I wish I could have seen it happen to myself.

5. Sally the Camel has 2 humps.

6. I've figured out I hate sewing. I suck at it. Not one sewing session goes by that I don't have to rip a stitch out, or break something, or cut wrong. Ugh, it shouldn't be this difficult.

7. The farm has a new addition. Her name is Sabella. She's 7 weeks old.
Ekkk cuteness!

8. I stepped in pee in the bedroom... it wasn't the dog's. Yeah...... He's figured out how to get body parts out of his diaper. I need to buy more onesies. And no I'm not talking about Sweet Husband. Hardy har-har, good one though.

9. Cullen thinks it's funny to pull my shirt down and shove his hand in it. I'm waiting on the day I flash a group of complete strangers.

10. Apparently I'm obsessed with braids. I wear one in my hair everyday. So please if you see me trying to get those tiny braids all over my head.. stop me. I get addicted to things easily.....

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


I can't stop thinking about Food.
No, I'm not pregnant.
No, I'm not eating my feelings.
I just want some yummy food.

I blame If you haven't visited this site... don't! You will neglect your family, stop doing laundry, and spend nights awake thinking about all the cool stuff you want to make. BUT if you do decide to visit and you like it you need an invitation so let me know and I'll send you one. If you're not invited you have to wait on a lame waiting list for an invite. But don't come crying to me when you lose your children amongst the piles of dirty laundry. No, no that's not my house.... hahaha (nervous laugh).... just don't come over without an hours notice. K? K.

So since I'm on this food kick I decided that I was going to compile a list of foods I love and foods I hate. Not all of them though... that would get really boring for you. 


Tacos.. not real tacos. Taco Bell tacos. I like the kind with the "meat" in it better than this real meat they've started putting in it. Gah people could you not have just left TB alone. They were doing just fine with the fake stuff.

Squash. LOVE it.

Spam. Don't judge me. It's delicious on some crackers with some mustard on top. Oh did I just turn you off from your lunch? Sorry about that.

Bacon. Bacon goes on anything. If I could eat a whole pack of bacon everyday by myself and not kill over. I'd totally do it.

California Rolls. I use to think it was sooo stupid when people ate Sushi because they were all like "Hey, look how cool I am because I'm eating this raw fish. Are you jealous? You should be totally jealous". Then I tried a California Roll and I was like "Wow, look how cool I am eating this sushi. People are so jealous of me." I don't want to try the raw stuff though.... I'm a coward.

Chips and Salsa. I get on big kicks of chips and salsa. I usually eat half the bag of chips.. okay 3/4 the bag of chips and then when I'm done I have indigestion out the wahzoo. Wait that sounded bad... I have indigestion out the esophagus. Okay much better.

Cupcakes. If any of you know me you know my feelings on cupcakes. One might call it an obsession. I'm drawn to them like a moth to light. I need them. I probably would just die if I didn't have them. You don't know.. it could happen. People die from all sorts of withdrawals. Now I need to make some crack I mean cupcakes.


Sweet Tea. Okay, that's not really a food. And I know I'm southern and I'm "suppose" to love it, but I hate it. It leaves a weird aftertaste and makes me want to yak.

Collards. Even the smell is atrocious. I guess that's why I don't have any money. Aren't you suppose to eat collards on New Years? I guess we'll always be poor.

Jalapenos. I hate the smell, I hate the look, I hate the taste. Sweet Husband likes to eat Jalapeno flavored junk and I can't stand for him to be around me when he does.

Alfredo Sauce. Yuck. Don't like you white sauce!

Pig's Feet. Well to be fair I have never actually tried them, but from the look of things I don't think the outcome would be very good.

Hamony. (I'm not even sure if that's how you spell it..) I always think it's regular ole' corn and then wam! It's not.

Human Flesh. Okay, so I don't like it now, but when the zombies come if they don't eat me alive and I get away with just a bite we all know what happens next. So I'm guessing eventually I'd put human flesh at the top of my Good List, but for now it's definitely staying on my Not Good list.

So there's some of my likes and dislikes.
What kind of food do you love or hate?
I'd love to make fun hear what they are.
Now I need another snack......

Friday, May 20, 2011


I have always been a very confident person.
But, as a woman I think we all have days where we look at ourselves and go,
"What the heck happened?!?"

Last night was one of those nights for me.

I don't know what brought it out in me, but all of a sudden I just felt blah about myself. I know, I know I'm not fat, but when you look back at old pictures of yourself and there is no muffin top or saddle bags you can't help but feel a little put out. Thankfully Sweet Husband was there to hear me complain through all of my unhappiness.

I hate my body now.

Why? You look great!!

Your children ruined it! I have things that sag, body parts that are more fluffy now, look my nose is even bigger!

No, it's not. I still think you're beautiful.

Look how pale I am. I can see my veins through my skin. Do you see them?? Look you can see the blood pumping through. That can't be normal.

Then take the boys out in the yard during the day and wear your swimsuit and you'll get some sun while they play.

Yeah, and then I'll blind the people that drive by because the sun will reflect off of my skin. Then when they finally recover from that they'll see these thunder thighs and probably wreck into our mailbox because they'll be so busy staring, thinking, "Oh that poor woman."

You do realize that would never happen right?

You don't know! It could!

Are you seriously crying right now?

You don't understand!! Your body stayed the same throughout me having kids. It's not fair.

Well I think you are beautiful. And if you want to why don't you work out?

Because Sweet Husband, I hate working out. It takes effort and I don't like that.

*Cries into pillow some more*

 I'm so glad he puts up with my craziness. I think it takes a special man to be able to.
I woke up to this this morning. I love him.

I did 100 jumping jacks this morning... progress my friends, progress.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Random Thursday {7}

So we missed Random Thursday last week because Blogger was being suckish so let's try again shall we?


1. We have ANOTHER addition to the Farm. It's a bun bun!! He's really cute. He's very partial to Cullen. I think because he is of the small variety himself.

2. I'm going to cover all the windows in my house so I can convince my children it's bedtime in about 30 minutes. Yes, as a matter of fact it is 6:00 pm.

3. I currently have ring pop stuck to the bottom of my foot. It's gross. Yet here I sit... instead of wiping it off. Priorities people!!

4. I just caught Cullen eating bun bun food.... This morning I think he may have tried dog food. Jeez I can't turn my back for 2 seconds.

5. My house was clean before lunch... it's not anymore. I should just take a picture of it clean so I can prove to Sweet Husband that I do in fact do more than eat bon bons and watch soap operas. I mean I don't even know what a bon bon is... or what soap operas are on. Maybe if you replaced that with fudge rounds and ICarly......

6. Cullen just bit me on my inner thigh.. have you ever been bit there? It's not a pleasant feeling. Especially when that's a fluffy part of your body.

7. Slaten told me I looked like a princess yesterday. I was only in a dress that was pretty and flowy. I think that gives me permission to start wearing a crown daily? No?

8. Slaten put his hand in the toilet today.. along with a cup. Being a parent is gross.

9. I threw the cup away.

10. Sweet Husband has to work late today. I'm suppose to save him some of this dinner I just made. I guess we'll have to see how good it tastes to see if that happens.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Dear Son

Dear 16 year old Slaten,

 Hi son. This is your mother. You know? The woman who gave birth to you after 3 straight weeks of contractions? Yes, good you do remember. I just wanted to write you a little letter to remind you of a few things we've talked about in your short 16 years of life. Even though you think you know everything and I'm an idiot... it's not true.

 Please understand that when you bring your first girlfriend over I intend on showing her all of your naked baby bum pictures along with the ones of you holding your "babies". I will also tell her repeatably about how many times you told me that you wanted to marry me and that I was the only girl for you. You'll cringe, but I'm secretly hoping it will scare her away. I want to keep you unmarried until you are at least 35. Is that too much to ask? When you do start dating please pick a respectable girl to bring home to momma. If you bring a girl with piercings in her face and green streaks in her hair or her belly button showing to my house I will slam the door in her face. Just because she makes you feel special does not mean she loves you. So please be careful what you do and what situations you get yourself into because I do NOT want to be a grandma before I'm at least 45. Understand me son? Because I don't have a problem accompanying you on dates until you are 25.

  I don't ever want to hear a 4 letter word come out of your mouth. You are not too old for me to wash your mouth out with soap. And though you may be bigger than me, I am quite the feisty little lady and I will hold you down. Also if I ever hear the words "Oh My God" come out of your mouth you had better be praising your Lord because I will be more than happy to remove that TV from your room. Speaking of TVs.... MTV is the Devil's channel. Come to think of it.. let's just go ahead and get rid of that TV.... it'll give you too many ideas. Video games are not to be your life. Oh here's a hint for you. Girls HATE when their boyfriend's sit and play video games all the time. SO if you DO want a girlfriend just go ahead and throw those things out too.

  We know you want a Mustang for your birthday and your father and I have talked about it and we have decided the answer is no. Okay, enough with the buts. You won't die if you don't have one! We didn't say we wouldn't get you a car. We think you need your own car. SO here it is. We hope you enjoy it. No more than 1 passenger at a time. No texting and driving. Keep the radio down. Always wear your seat belt. And no girls in the backseat.

It's cool, yeah? Hey don't you roll your eyes at me! They'll stick that way! Yes, they will. I knew a girl, who knew a girl who had her eyes stay that way for the rest of her life!!! So come here and give your momma a kiss because that's something you will never be too old for.

 Love you always,
  Your Mother

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Woe is Me

So apparently stress makes my eye twitch.
By the way I'm typing this from the inside of my closet.
Why? You ask. Because my child is currently throwing the world's largest temper tantrum in his room and I don't want to hear it.

Our Corgi Lily needed to go to the vet for a check up today. I thought I'd be brilliant and go while Slaten was in school. It was a rookie mistake. Cullen (who by the way has been up since 5:30 this morning) didn't think the vet sounded like that great of an idea so he let me and everyone else there know. We waited in the waiting room for over 10 minutes and then the vet room for another 5 minutes during this time Cullen is exercising his lungs as loudly as he can and bucking his body with a surprising amount of force all the while I'm trying to comfort Lily because yes, my sweet girl you will be getting shots and they will poke you in the hiney with a q-tip. I finally gave up. I hooked Lily's leash to the stroller, tucked the kid under my arm ( still screaming I might add), put my backpack on, and pushed my stroller out to the lobby where I had to let them know I'd be back later when I didn't have "this thing" (lifted up the screaming toddler for all to see) with me. It felt like I had just admitted to not being able to control my own kid. This is something I had yet had to do. So I just want to say to all you women out there who say, "My kid will never do that in public." Yes, yes he will. And you too will do the walk of shame with a does of failure as your eye begins to twitch.

Then I made my way to the car feeling the biggest amount of embarrassment I have felt in a long time. Lily was scared of the stroller so she was backing away from me, screaming toddler was still screaming and bucking, and I was biting my lip to hold the tears of embarrassment in. Took me a few minutes to load everyone in and one angry vent text to my mom later, I was on my way home. One wasted trip. One morning ruined. One tired, overly sensitive, overly emotional mother. One screaming bucking toddler. One happy dog who thinks she got out of an unpleasant experience.

So I'm going to sit in my closet and enjoy the semi peace while my toddler screams and bucks in his crib to his little hearts content. Well until we have to leave in a few minutes to go pick up Slaten. Oy Vey.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Nobody Said It Was Going to Be Easy

It's hard.
The hours are long.
The pay is... non existent.
They smell.
They fight.
They whine and cry.
But the job is totally worth it.
I wouldn't trade it for the world.


Thursday, May 5, 2011

Random Thursday {6}


It's Thursday and it's Random
It's Random facts on Thursday
You know you love my Thursdays
Because I make them Random.
*I never claimed to be a song writer.

Hello friends! Please continue to remember the people of Alabama and the surrounding states who are still trying to put their lives back together after the storms last week. Now on to RANDOM THURSDAYYYYYYYY!!

1. So I made Slaten's teacher a necklace for Teacher's Appreciation Week. Slaten didn't want to give it to her so I sat in the car this morning and I said, "Please Slaten, please give it to her, please, please, please, please, please...." He finally agreed. I love getting my way by being annoying. I know it's going to back fire next time he wants something and he starts pulling out the annoying repeat card.

2. I thought I had an idea for a book I wanted to write. I even researched a little bit. Then I picked up a book and started reading and it's basically the same idea I had conjured up in my wee little brain. Needless to say I was disappointed that someone beat me to it.

3. Sweet Husband drew me a picture in the shower (we have kid bath crayons... yeah they're totally for our kids...). It's a picture of a man fishing and jaws is about to eat him. I wonder how much water he wasted standing there drawing that. Not to mention he erased my math I was doing to figure out how much to charge for some new jewelry I made. Guess I'm going to have to figure it all back out again....Gah, doesn't he know math is hard for me?!??

4. I made a poodle lamp out of 200 coffee filters. Now I keep looking around my house to see what I can stick coffee filters on. It's a sickness I tell ya. I can't stop at just one thing.

5. My mom's farm is getting a new addition tonight. I'm going with her to get it. It's going to sit in my lap on the way home. I really hope it doesn't poo on me. I'll tell you later what it is... don't you hate when people do that??

6. My house smells like glue. I don't like it.

7. Cullen woke me up by giving me hickeys all over my neck this morning. It wasn't very pleasant. Oh and he got tee tee on my arm.. I just wiped it off and rolled over. Don't act like you've never done that.

8.  Sweet Husband really, really hates Target buggies. I think it's almost to the point that he's going to make me write a letter to the company.

9. It's a little goat. Possibly a pygmy. I told you I'd tell you later.

10. I'm on a jewelry making mission so my Random Thursday stops here. I must take advantage of this time without one of my children. Yeah, the dogs are babysitting again. What?

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Insanely Insecure

Four teeth. Three of them being molars.
That is how many teeth little Cullen has coming in.
 Four shots. That is how many shots he got today. 
Five bald spots. One twitchy eye and one finger with 2nd degree burn. That would be me.....

I took Cullen for his 12 month and 15 month check up today. Yeah he is 16 months, what? Thankfully my mother went with me so I could actually talk to the Doctor without my little 3 year old blabber mouth child chiming in. Does anyone else feel insanely insecure about your parenting skills when you take your kids into the ped's office? Like I get sweaty palms, twitchy eyes, and fidget uncontrollably Here is how my convo went today. Keep in mind I'm sweating profusely. So I'm wiping my brow throughout the conversation.

So we missed his 12 month checkup and he's really 16 months so we're late on his 15th month check up. {braces self for hard criticism}

That's totally okay. I'm not one to fuss at people about things. We'll get his shots taken care.

Well you know he was sick the whole month around his birthday. Remember I couldn't get him to stop pooping? That wasn't fun. So that's why we missed that one... Oh and then you remember he had the flu??

No, really it's fine I'm not fussing at you one bit. We'll just do his 12 month shots today.

I totally would have brought him if he hadn't been sick. Really I would have, but I didn't want to contaminate the other kids. So really it was me being respectful of other parents because I was watching out for their kids. I'm really nice like that. Always thinking about others.. that's me!

Really it's fine!!

Okay, I just wanted you to know that I'm not neglecting my child. I really do care about his health and I'm totally open to vaccinations. Don't worry I'm not one to freak out. I'm totally trusting my child's life in your hands. I mean you are the doctor. You went to school for all those years. I trust you completely. I know he's going to be fine, right? I mean these shots won't damage him, right? You do know the risks and all? He's going to be fine isn't he? I shouldn't be worried, should I?

No, he'll be just fine. Maybe a slight fever, but other than that he should be fine.  He looks perfect! He's growing great and he's scored perfect on all of his motor skills.

Oh yeah, he's totally got the motor skill thing down. I mean he climbs up stuff all the time. Usually he falls off and hits his head. He really hits his head a lot. Sometimes I'm worried on if he's going to be normal because I don't know how one person can take so many blows to the head and be fine, but I just don't know how I feel about making him wear a helmet all the time. Is that necessary? Should I look into one?

No, that happens with rough and tough boys.

Yeah, he's already had a black eye and I think these knots might be permanent. But I'm a good mother I swear I am. I always keep my eyes on him. I mean I only neglect him when it's really for a good reason like I need to make some necklaces or I'm at the good part of a book.

.............. okay, well we'll see you in 3 months.

I really like our pediatrician. She doesn't judge. Thankfully Cullen seems pretty good after his shots. Other than the fact that he was stuck to me like a leech for most of the evening, but he's finally asleep so I think I'll go pass out myself.  Oh P.S. he didn't give me the 2nd degree burn. That was from my glue gun. She's on my naughty list now.