Things I have learned from Scary Movies
1. When there is a killer in your house always run upstairs. I'm not sure what is up there that is going to protect me, but the person who runs upstairs always seems to survive in the end. I don't know what I'm going to do seeing as we live in a one level house.... Maybe a ladder to the roof?
2. If you see a creepy hotel that seems vacant it is probably because there is a killer inside. I suggest sleeping in your car.
3. A movie with the title The Peanut Butter Solution will scar your children for life. I can't remember what this movie was about, but there is a little boy who loses his hair because he goes into a scary abandoned house and he decides to use the Peanut Butter Solution to grow it back. I'm not even sure if that's an accurate description of the movie, but in my little kid mind that's how it went down.
4. Sometimes clowns come through your drain in the bathtub. Another reason to leave those clogs.
5. Sparkly Vampires are not scary, but if you see Blade coming you might want to check behind you.
6. If a little kid creeps you out it is because he is possessed. I probably wouldn't accept babysitting offers from their parents.
7. If you wake up chained in a bathroom things probably aren't going to end well for you. Not to mention how unsanitary that is... Lysol anyone?
8. If you go out into the woods to hunt down a witch your nose is going to run really, really bad so take plenty of Kleenex.
9. Using a Ouija board brings about evil. I don't recommend it unless you have a priest next door.
10.If your TV set turns on automatically and there is white static you should just unplug it because a freaky wet girl will come through and ruin your Persian rug.