Marriage is hard work.
Whoever said it wasn't is either:
A) Not married
B) Has been married 6 months or less
C) Is in complete denial
We are by no means marriage gurus, but I like to take pride that we've been married over 7 years now and have not hit any bumps in the road or had any regrets about our decision in choosing each other as our better halves so I thought I'd compile a list on how we make things work.
1. We have learned to communicate without using words. I like to think of it as mind reading or ESPN if you will (yes I know I said ESPN, but that's what I use to think it was called so I will continue on with calling it that).
Ex. When I pick up a frying pan and one of my eyes start twitching he knows to be quiet because I have seconds away from smacking him up side the head, so he stops.
Ex. When he rolls his eyes and puts his hands on his hips he thinks I'm being over dramatic or I know I have succeeded in totally irritating the crap out of him, so I slack off.
2. We know what irritates the other person to no end and we use it wisely.
Ex. I hate to be tickled or have my leg squeezed right above my knee. If he wants to make me mad that's all he has to do. Works every time. He has since learned to use this veryyyy rarely. One quick punch below the belt will do that to a man. Actually didn't mean to do that, but hey it worked.
Ex. I know he hates for me to stare at him and make weird faces while he's driving. So of course I do this to no end when I want to rile him up. Why yes, I am 5 years old.
3. There are unspoken moments.
Ex. If I'm laying in bed crying for no other reason that I'm a nutbar, he will hold me and kiss my neck to let me know he thinks I'm crazy, but he still loves me.
Ex. If he calls me from work and starts explaining how pipes work I smile and say, "I miss you too."
4. We compliment each other.
Ex. I tell him, "I love your face and you have soft boy skin."
Ex. He tells me, "You're beautiful and you have a big bottom". Apparently that's a compliment in his book... I keep trying to explain to him that it's really not.
5. We have learned to team up against our kids.
Ex. They're crying nonstop and we need a break. We cover the windows in their bedroom at 6:30 and convince them that it's dark outside so that we can sit alone and just enjoy the quiet.
Ex. We both give each other a break now and then so that we each have a chance to gain some of our sanity back.
6. We still tell each other how much we love each other.
Ex. I watch him reading to our babies and when he looks up we make eye contact and I smile because there is nothing more attractive to me than a man taking care of his children. Later when we're alone I kiss him and tell him how great of a father he is and how I couldn't have picked a better man.
Ex. When I'm getting ready he comes up behind me and puts his arms around me and smiles at me in the mirror and tells me how beautiful I am (even though I have no makeup on and my hair is air drying into a total frizz ball). Then he spins me around kisses me and tells me how much he loves me.
I'm not going to pretend that everything is always sunshine and rainbows. Heaven knows I am hot headed and have the temper of a badger at times. Sometimes we raise our voices, sometimes I pout, but one thing is for sure we love each other with all our hearts and we're dedicated to each other and to our marriage and it's nice to live with that assurance. We hope to be the example to our boys that love and marriage though hard is totally doable. Even if the world seems to think it can be tossed out as easily as it came.
Matthew 19:6 "Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together."