I want a massage.
Massages are pointless.
Have you ever had a massage??
No, but why would you pay a lot of money to have a complete stranger rub all over your body... seems pointless.
Because Sweet Husband it makes me feel good.
Yeah, for an hour and then you just go on with your day and less money in your wallet with nothing to show for it.
*You'd go with less money in your wallet* I mutter under my breath.
He just doesn't understand how fantastic a massage can be. He also doesn't understand how heavy Cullen is for this little momma. I mean he weighs probably a fourth of what I do! So I got to thinking if I had a day ALL to myself... what would I do. It would go something like this.
I would wake up at 9:30 in my very comfy hotel bed. One of those with the big fluffy white duvets and sheets with more thread count than I can count. Roberta would bring my tray of breakfast in for me and she'd open the curtains so the birds could sing to me. I'd thank her and then dismiss her to start my bath. I'd have a tray of bacon. I mean what other breakfast option is there?? After I finished breakfast the birds would help me slip into my robe and slippers (all the while singing) and I'd head to the bathroom where I would soak in a jetted tub for a good thirty minutes. I'd slip back into sleep, but don't worry I wouldn't drown because I've fallen asleep several times in the shower and bath and yet here I sit typing.. I'm a pro at it. After my bath I'd get dressed in my new outfit and crown that my stylist had brought over for me. I'd then go shopping, but I of course wouldn't pay for any of this because this is my day all to myself and I'm using someone else's money.
I'd then meet my friend's Cinderella and Jasmine. Sorry I just hate when people name drop it's so rude, but I felt you needed to know exactly what my day was going to be like. We'd eat lunch and then do more shopping. They would then have to leave because I mean they're very busy princesses. I'd head back to the hotel where Alfonso would be there waiting to start my hour and a half massage session. I'd relax and let the tension flow from my body and then I'd wake up because of course I fell asleep during the massage and I'd wipe the drool off of my chin and thank Alfonso. Following that would be a mani and pedi and then once my spa trip was over I'd relax in the pool that is right beside the beach. I'd read a book and then nap in the sand. *Do you see this nap pattern I have going on here*. Dinner would be served at the beach side restaurant and then I would go find me an empty hammock to relax in on the beach so I could listen to the waves.
Then I'd wake up because the baby is crying and tugging on my hair and Slaten is screaming for more juice. Then I'd realize it was all a dream and I will never have a day like that, but it's okay because even though my days aren't that glamorous I still have plenty of fun and if I ask my 3 year old will play with my hair. That way I can just pretend I'm at a salon when I close my eyes. I wonder if I could teach him to give massages... Gotta go I'm going to look into massage schools for preschoolers.