I am sleepy.
I am procrastinating.
I look a mess.
I'm sitting here in my kitchen, looking at the dishes from last night, thinking about the clothes souring in the washing machine and I just can't seem to get myself moving. I'm also realizing that at the moment I am extremely jealous of my 15 month old who is snoring away in his crib. I'd give anything to snore away even in a crib right now.
Last night I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water and when I walked past the only window without a curtain I swear someone hit the glass. I ran like a little girl and jumped under the covers and begged Sweet Husband to go turn the light off that I left on, but he said I had to be a "big girl" and do it myself. He said he'd grab the candlestick and come running if I screamed. I mean what if that had been a murderer or a vampire who was waiting to compel me to let him inside so he could drain us all of blood. What good would a candlestick do against his abundant strength?? One thing I've learned is you never let the girl deal with the boy vampire because they're always pretty and we just can't handle that. And if they sparkle.... well you might as well forget it. So I ran as fast I could to turn off the light and then like lightning I was back in my bed, but then I couldn't fall asleep because I was waiting on the vampire to knock on my bedroom window.
So I decided to watch a little TV. I ended up on this show about girls under 18 getting plastic surgery. After I saw a girl get implants through her belly button I kind of wanted to throw up and then decided the crackers I had before bed were a bad idea. Don't worry she was totally thrilled with her results and that led to her walking around in shirts cut down to her belly button. I'm sure her mother was so proud. Anyway, so after the vampire tried to come in and the plastic surgery that churned my stomach was over I decided to try and go to sleep. Okay, I can do this I thought. I'm just going to turn my mind off and think of happy trees or puppies or zombies... wait no that's not happy. Crap now I'm convinced that's a zombie at my window and they are merciless when it comes to devouring a family. I decided to try and watch some more TV, but then I heard, "MOMMY, MOMMMY, MOMMMYYY!" Great the zombie vampire is trying to get Slaten so I ran to his room. He said he couldn't sleep in his room because it was scary. (It's really windy up here so it can be loud in his room). So I made him lay back down and went to my room. He started crying again so I got up and made a deal that he could sleep on the couch with the TV on. He did for 5 minutes and then started crying. After several threats from his half asleep father he finally settled down and went to sleep about 11:30. I decided I could sleep too since Slaten was in the living room and could warn me if the zombie vampire came in. What? You wouldn't use your child as a warning siren?... don't lie to me.
I fell asleep finally around midnight. At 1:30 Cullen started crying. "I'm just going to ignore it for a minute" I thought. "But he's not stopping and what if the zombie vampire is scratching at his window. He's just a baby he wouldn't understand". So I ran in and grabbed him and rocked him back to sleep. I tried to put him back in his crib and he woke back up. I decided he could cry it out for a little while. An hour later I was finally able to go back to sleep. SO my bedtime was 2:30 with a brief moment of alertness at 5:30 when Sweet Husband left and then at 7:30 it was time to get up according to the 15 month old. So that's why I'm tired today. I have bags under my eyes and I'm wearing the weirdest combination of clothes I've ever seen on myself, but I don't even think I have the energy to change. Thankfully nobody invited the zombie vampire in so we're safe for another day. Hopefully he won't come back tonight. Just in case I think I'll fall asleep before Sweet Husband tonight
My weird outfit. I'm wearing an orange tank top under a blue nightgown with a green hoodie on top with chip and dale pj bottoms under them..... yeah....